Starting With a Rant

It seems a little odd to open my blog with a rant about something. But since I've been blogging for so long, it seems silly to start off with some sort of contrived "about me". You either already know me, or... you don't. And if you don't, I'm sorry! I'm not this grumpy all the time, I swear. I just use blogging for therapy and this has been on my nerves lately. It took me longer than anticipated to get this space up and running and so this has been building...

Let's talk about MLMs. Multi level marketing companies. Sometimes known as "Pyramid Schemes" (although they aren't all working under that model) or "Direct Sales." You know.  The modern day Tupperware party. Your friend gets "in" to something... diet drinks (oh, I'm sorry, "Health Drinks"), stick-on nails, makeup, essential oils, cleaning products, leggings... etc etc... and the next thing you know they are their own "small business" and your social media (and direct contact, if you're particularly unlucky) is drowning in the near-constant pushing of their product. Or worse, you start getting to know someone (or reconnect with someone) and are excited about the possibility of a new friend / connection... only to realize their actual interest in you is primarily based around selling you stuff.

On one hand, I GET IT. As a mom, all I can think is that I need to find a way to work from home. Especially when my kids are sick. (I've blogged about this before). And that's coming from someone who has a decent paying career (and medical benefits) in a job I truly enjoy. But once you have a family, it gets tricky, and so I get why half my Facebook friends are hawking stuff, from oils to makeup to pink drinks to cleaning products to leggings to nails to I DON'T EVEN FREAKING KNOW, COULD YOU JUST UPDATE ME ON YOUR LIFE WHICH I AM ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN BECAUSE I LIKE YOU, AND NOT YOUR EFFING EYELASHES / PINK DRINK / BUTTER LEGS.

I understand the need. I just have a few (eight) problems with the whole concept of the MLM. In reverse order of annoyingness:

1) I highly doubt many of them are making THAT much money for it, if they actually did the math on ALL the costs they incur, plus what they miss out on by not having healthcare benefits and 401k options, etc. I mean,  a few of them probably really are doing decently well. I have a few friends who are doing great, so it would seem. But the majority... not so much. Social Media saturates the market really quickly on these things, so there's a good chance by the time you've heard about the product, so have 10 other people in your social circle. Which brings me to point number two...

2)  I literally have FOUR friends trying to sell Younique, FIVE hawking various brands of essential oils, three selling Norwex, two selling Rodan and Fields, three selling Plexus (I hate Plexus most of all right now), etc etc. The number of people selling the same stuff has allowed me a crystal-clear window into the different companies' marketing practices, which I have to say, are kind of sketchy and are probably my most disliked thing about "direct sales" companies to date, which leads me right into point number three...

3) I'm honestly starting to wonder if some of these people think I am dumb. Or that all their potential customers are dumb. I literally saw a Rodan and Fields post about the amazing tanning cream that had it done on one leg and not on the other. The leg that was supposedly tanned with their stuff was clearly IN THE SHADE. The other leg was clearly IN DIRECT SUNLIGHT. You could SEE THE SHADOW LINE between their legs. I mean really. At first I was willing to write it off as one person's really bad idea, but then another person popped up with the same thing... just a different pair of legs. Are. You. Kidding. ME?! So, clearly, the company is in some way suggesting or promoting such stellar sales pitches to their members. At the best, the "before' shot is always in terrible light with a low quality camera, and the after is always them at their best. I've literally never seen a technically sound comparison in these before / afters.

4) And then there's downright sketchy or over-exaggerated claims that can't be verified- or are turning out to be downright lies when they are verified. The biggest offender that I can see in the first category is Plexus. Plexus is making my eyes roll so hard I can practically see my brain on a regular basis. They claim to be an "all natural" "clinically proven" source of prebiotics, probiotics, energy, etc and are loosely a diet / health concoction, yet ultimately these products are powdered who-knows-what that (the company won't say). (Never mind that there is NO research done on this whatsoever outside of the company itself- and it was recently the focus of multiple lawsuits, including one about false claims of naturalness, to which the end result was them having to revamp their product to remove a ton of the unnamed, unknown crap in it. Unclear if that's actually happened yet or not.) They are all about their freaking pink drink. Now I will say, I agree with some of their marketing in theory in that gut health is super important... but if you want an all natural, actually clinically proven source of nutrition, energy, and probiotics... make yourself a smoothie and put some plain greek yogurt in it. You can buy some nice probiotics online if the yogurt strains aren't enough for you! I literally make a smoothie for my entire family every morning and here is the recipe in its entirety: banana, avocado, almond butter, plain greek yogurt, spinach, raw local honey, frozen fruit (usually a berry blend) and water. I'm pretty sure its cheaper than Plexus and we all feel pretty good starting our day that way! Bonus: it's also pink.

5) Essential Oil companies have some skeletons in their closet, too. Now, a quick positive: clearly they don't encourage nearly as annoying business practices from their salespeople as some of the other companies, because of the multitudes of people I know selling either Young Living or DoTerra, literally only one has been annoying about it (and hey, I unfriended them, so no harm done). But still. In talking with a local essential oil "expert" at a local natural grocery, I learned quite a bit, easily verified online. Not the least of which is that essential oils have been around for-EVAH, and long before Young Living and DoTerra showed up. They didn't invent this stuff, they just claim to do it better- based mostly of their so-called "purity" and not using any "synthetics". Both Young Living and DoTerra claim to have exceptionally high "purity standards" in an industry that is entirely unregulated on such things- meaning they are not regulated, either. So far as I can tell, that is their justification for their sky-high prices (which are really my only problem with the company). Unfortunately, there's quite a few stories out there indicating they don't even meet their own so-called "purity standards". A quick google search can find tons of sources on that. Short version for those who don't want to click: Their products included synthetics in independent lab tests. Oops. 

6) I have a pet peeve when someone joins an MLM company and then calls it a "small business." It's one of those 'letter of the law but not the spirit of the law' things. I guess it's technically a small business, but I think there should be another name to differentiate it from the primary definition of a small business... you know, the kind you start yourself and absorb all costs from the ground up (and do your own freaking marketing)... not buy a kit from a company, whether or not your kit comes with a "business license." Maybe it could be a called a "Direct Sales Business". An at-home business? Just don't try and equate it to my friends who actually started their own successful small businesses. IT'S NOT THE SAME.

7) I'm also highly bothered that their primary clientele are their friends and they post GUILT TRIPS about how should be supporting them being home with their babies, and blah blah blah. One Facebook spam post actually tried to say you should buy their MLM makeup instead of that from a makeup counter because you would be "supporting a small business owner and her family" instead of "Sephora." WHAT. THE. CRAP. Is the girl at the Sephora makeup counter not worthy of support as well? Maybe she has a family to feed and just wanted a job, with, you know, actual healthcare benefits. How is buying from my guilt-trippin' friends and thereby supporting the Corporate Younique company any  different than buying from the Sephora counter and supporting Corporate Sephora? Guilt as a sales tactic is another huge turnoff to me. Also- while I have amazing friends whom I love, I don't recall any of them financially supporting me through my graduate schooling in order to have the career I have now. And I would not have wanted them to! (Actually, I suppose a few may have bought me food when we went out when I was too poor for such things...). So... why is my financial support required for their career? Why do I have to be guilted into buying stuff I don't want in order to "support a friend"? Which leads me to...

8) My "Grand Finale of Annoyingness"... my  most disliked thing about MLMs... and, for sure, the inspiration for this post.... is the whole concept that people selling it MAKE MONEY OFF THEIR FRIENDS. By either directly selling to them, or having them host parties, or whatever. Dude. That's just so... tacky. I mean, people are really cool with taking their friends' money? (Casual acquaintances, sure. I realize most people have a lot of casual-contacts on their Facebook feed.) If I had my own business (and I can now say I hope to have my own photography side business one day) I would do everything I could to HELP MY CLOSE FRIENDS with my business... not make money off them. I currently have doled out all sorts of speech therapy advice, at no charge, to people I know well (and people I barely know), because they ask me "Is this NORMAL?" in regards to something about their kids' development (I seriously get these requests from people often).  I am happy to do this. I am so glad something I know can help someone.  When I had a close family member who needed a service that I was literally the best and most qualified therapist in our community to provide, I did it on my own time out of love. If I do one day get my photography business up and running, you can bet any pictures I take of close friends and family are either free or they are paying me in chai tea lattes and cookies. Perhaps this will make me a terrible business owner. So be it. That's why I have a career already.

So now that you've read all that, I'm sure you will be Facebook Unfriending me, stat, especially if you are in the "direct sales" industry. I can't really blame you, I'd be pretty ticked at me if I read all that too. Before you go, you should know that half the reason I am so annoyed about it is due to the excessiveness of the posts I see. That isn't any one person's fault, you all can't help the market is fully saturated for these sorts of products. I know that. I know I could just unfollow you and be done with it, and I've had to do that a few times, but if I haven't done that to you yet, it's because I probably actually do like you and am interested to see updates from you: your kids, your family, your school, your pets. YOU. Not your skin care and your makeup and your leggings. (Even if they do feel like buttah.)

The solution, in my mind, is simple, and I beg all direct sales people to consider it: start a social media page for your business. Share WHATEVER YOU WANT THERE. Sketchy marketing? Hey, if that's how you want to run your business, you do you- why put that stuff on your personal page and risk tarnishing your relationships with people? It's hard for me to be interested in forming / maintaining relationships with people who would try to pull tricks like the one-leg-in-the-shade tanning cream ruse. Maybe just save that stuff for the people who are interested enough in the product to be willing to look past it? By all means, share your business page on your personal page every once and awhile (more than once a month is unnecessary, truly). Those who are interested can follow your business page, or stalk if they prefer anonymity. You'll know what the interest level is among your friends by how many likes you get. (And let that be a guideline to how much you want to keep sharing, lol). Keep the business and the personal separate-ish. Your friends appreciate it. Even the ones who are supporting you. Trust me on this.

And please, notice that- with the exception of Plexus- I don't really have anything negative to say about the MLM products themselves. You know what? I genuinely like Norwex products even if I'm not impressed with the company's pricing-up to encourage parties (but for pete's sake, buy the E-cloth mop, it's the exact same thing and so much cheaper!). I often use DoTerra essential oils- I like their blends. The idea of non toxic nails is at least mildly interesting to me (the designs are certainly cute) and I'm sure the leggings really do feel like butter- I do love me some comfy pants. The products are not the problem, most of the time. I just really, strongly disagree with a few huge components of the MLM business model (selling to friends) and sketchy marketing tactics (guilt, spam, false / exaggerated claims).  And if I like the product, and want it, then HECK YEAH I will buy them from my friends! Of course I will. This rant may not show it, but I actually do care about, and want to be supportive of, my friends.  I try to be as generous as I can be with my money. I also share their information with anyone else I encounter who expresses interest.

I'm just really sick of the constant guilt trips, and spam. Add a dose of sketchy corporate behavior and a pinch of questionable marketing strategies, and it's all bit much for me. And I don't think I'm alone in this mindset.